Croissants:The Day that Fail Built

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Yesterday was just not the day to make croissants and was on it's way to being the day that FAIL built. It started with a nearly missed doctor appointment for baby flu shots, a trip to the wrong store for what I really needed, and an ill advised time deadline for a new customer. To sum up, my mojo took a leave of absence. Even my darling friends the yeastie beasties were not on my side.
Lest we forget, the mysterious and illusive croissant requires a four to six hour process involving a basic yeast dough, a metric ton of butter and lots of waiting. It is not a pastry for the patient. For the impatient pastry gal, you want pate de choux, better known as puff pastry to Americans. Croissants are a wholly bizarre other animal. Once again, I digress.
Here's how the croissant failure happened. Basic dough attempt number one did not rise properly putting me about and hour and a half behind schedule for the day. Attempt number two rose but had a terrible texture. If this were a test batch, which it should have been, I'd have thrown it out. The looming deadline and a desire to deliver on it drove me to continue against my better judgment. So what happened? I blame the yeast. I used a brand that I don't usually use and while it did proof, it had these really large granules that I think did nothing but sit there like little, texture killing interlopers.
I pressed on. Really pressed. The butter incorporation process, with all of the roll, fold, wait, roll, fold, wait for croissants is one of those things that really makes you wonder who sat around and thought that up. Bless them, but it was someone with more time and patience that I had yesterday, that's for sure. Press after press, turn after turn, I kept hoping and wishing, pleading, cajoling and even attempting to bribe the product into submission. It just wasn't going to happen. I wouldn't give up though. I took these little dough monsters all the way through the bake stage and got un-servable glop for my now 8 hours of work.
I called the customer. I explained the lack of mojo and the fail floating around like smog in my kitchen. She will get a free dozen after the Thanksgiving dust has settled. The game-show noise for a Price is Right looser kept playing and replaying in my head. Do di do dum ...waaaaw. My yodeler had fallen off the cliff.
Did I get to crawl under the bed and play 'fort' till I felt better? Nope. I still had work to do. But here's where the silver lining appears...brandy balls! Heck yeah, I said it. Let me say it again BRANDY BALLS! Great Googily Moogily! Chocolate work always makes me feel better.
After the client phone call I decided to whip out some ganache for truffles to take to the familial Thanksgiving feast. Given the foul funk of fail in the kitchen, booze immediately came to mind as the flavoring of choice. In this case the flavoring combination is Triple Sec, Brandy and Extra-Dark Cocoa. I also used the disher that was officially deemed 'too big' for truffles. So now I have giant, boozy, yummy treats. This went some great way to improving my mood. I found homes for homeless loaves of bread, I made a delivery of sugar-free pecan clusters, had a nice meal with the family and went grocery shopping with no more fail. Who else has a job where booze fixes everything? A sommelier I suppose, but still, it's pretty fun...even when it's made of fail.

The Truffle, or Bliss-face Induction Unit

I've had a love affair with ganache for quite some time. If you're not familiar with ganache, it's one of the better things to do with chocolate known to man. That thing is to add fat. Yummy yummy fat in the form of butter and cream. One of the cool things that happens when you add butter and cream to chocolate is that you get shape shifting, state changing, stable, pliable chocolate that has yummy yummy fat in it - don't forget that part. The magic happens with the room temperature state of all of the materials involved. You get an intensely rich, chocolate thing that is not hard nor is it a liquid at room temperatures. You can use it as frosting, you can shape it, you can flavor it - oh my god you can can flavor it, but I get ahead of myself there.
So you've got ganache - the magical, pliable, chocolate love machine. Why stop there? Spread it between shortbread cookies for something Pepridge Farm could never match, frost cupcakes with it, eat it with a spoon in the dark in your kitchen. There I go again...more to the point you can make truffles with it.
Ah, truffles. So what the heck is a truffle anyway? Let's start with the concept that there are two very different things running around with this name. One is a very expensive mushroom, rooted out of wild, secret areas by truffle sniffing pigs. The other is a confection that happens to resemble this magical mushroom with a magic all it's own. That magic is brought to you by ganache.
Classically, a truffle is basically a ball of ganache, possibly flavored, and rolled in cocoa. Modernly, it seems they'll call anything chocolaty and ball shaped a truffle including a recipe I saw once involving only cream cheese and Oreos. Now, I'm not saying that wouldn't be good, in a preservative filled, processed food way, but I don't really think it's a truffle.
Snobbishness aside, lets talk about the classic truffle for a minute here. So you've got your bowl of ganache, lets make take it to a level of ridiculousness that just shouldn't be legal. Thank goodness it is, or I'd be in jail right now making bathtub ganache and shivs out of stale bread. I digress. Where was I? Oh right, flavoring ganache for truffles. AKA Easy directions for induction of the bliss face in total strangers while fully clothed.
Here's how it works: Make your ganache in a double boiler or the microwave, while it's still hot add your flavorings and chill it down. This is important. The butter has changed states in the heating process and needs to go cool off for a bit before it'll succumb to shaping. Once the ganache is ready to play nice, shape it into balls with a measuring spoon, melon baller, or small disher and roll in the coating. The butter has gotten mushy from all that handling again so stick those bad boys in the fridge and keep them cool till you intend to employ them.

Here are some flavoring ideas:
Coffee Liqueur + Instant Espresso
Baileys + Vanilla Powder
Kirsch + Ginger
Orange Extract + Cloves
Cider + Cinnamon
Any Booze + Compatible Spice

Most recently, the coffee liquor, espresso variety has been a serious creator of bliss face. The espresso bean on top takes it to another level. Come to think of it, you should buy some and try them. Who wouldn't want to invest in a little self-bliss-facing? Not you certainly.

Bliss Out,
The Pastry Goddess

PS. Leave more fun flavor combos in the comments if you like, or just tell me how much awesome I am made of.

The Holy Marshmallow

So(you may ask yourself), why start a blog with a rhapsody to the marshmallow? Why not tell us who you are and what you do? To this I say: we'll get to know each other soon enough, right now I'm on a marshmallow kick.

So what is a marshmallow really? It is a sugar syrup, a magical concoction in it's own right, combined with the awe inspiring weirdness that is gelatin, sometimes also combined with that powerhouse of evil goodness, the egg, and beaten beyond hope. Oddly enough, this tastes good and has a texture like nothing else. It is at once, smooth, airy, sweet, light, slippery, foamy and so wrong that it's just right.

Why am I mooning over marshmallows? Well, if you're asking that question, then you've never had a fresh one. The dessicated, shelf-stabilized, things in the grocery store are not the real McCoy. Like any pastry or candy item, hand made and fresh is a whole other, and wholly better, animal. An animal that I have taken into my home and made into my beloved pet.

Here are some interesting things that I have discovered about marshmallows:
*They can be made with or without eggs. This is a boon to those who are meringue challenged as well as those who lack kitchen space.
*They can be piped into shapes but it is a labor of love, disposable pastry bags and, again, kitchen space.
*They must cure at least overnight before cutting or dusting.
*Once cured, they can be re-liquified - making the most insane rice cereal treats you've ever had.
*They can be flavored. Orange extract produces a Creamsicle taste, peppermint schnapps - well just say yes. Dip in dark chocolate and look out Molly!

Here's where the kitchen McGuyver action happens. Vegan Marshmallows. You heard me. Vegan. No eggs, no gelatin. Skillful application of Agar makes it possible. If you've never used it, agar is a seaweed derived natural binder that, when used properly, gives that rubbery hold that could otherwise only be obtained with yummy gooey horse-hoof collagen (that's gelatin folks). I also have high hopes for instant clear jel, but I haven't tried that yet.

This is part of what I do. Food is my adventure. Marshmallows are a small part of my magical kitchen world. Who knows what I'll do next - well I do - I think it'll be homemade Moon Pies.